Stuff they never tell you about marriage

I am laying on the bed, staring absently at the ceiling. My wife is sitting on the edge of the bed with her laptop,

Me: Tricia.

Tricia: Yes.

Me: I was just wondering…

Tricia: Yes.

Me: …If you should give me a full body massage.

Tricia: Well let me tell you. That ain't gonna happen.

Me (under my breath): What the hell did I get married for?

Tricia: What?

Me: Huh… I said, seven times nine is sixty three.

Tricia: Uh huh.

Teenagers

The Speech

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