Fifteen seconds into the Vice-presidential debate, my wife was already annoyed. Governor Palin had just asked Senator Biden if she could call him Joe. "Oh Lord!, she's already starting with this folksy crap!", my wife yelled to me down the hall. I was on my way downstairs to get a nice, tall, glass of iced-tea. When I got back, my wife was yelling at the television. "What?!! What was that?!! Answer the damn question lady!!!" Having forgotten the original question myself, I placidly sipped my tea. I kinda liked the answer she gave to her made-up question. But then again, I have been known to walk into a room and continue a conversation that I had already begun in my head. Most people's response is to just stare at me with their mouths open. I just keep talking until they catch up. Needless to say, I understood Governor Palin perfectly. The dialogue she was having in her head was probably much more interesting than the one that was going on in so-called, "reality". She was just inviting the American people into her, far more stimulating conversation.
Later, my wife's outrage grew. "Winking?!! What kind of sh*t is that?!! Who the hell is she winking at?!! I can't stand this flirty crap!!!" It was clear to me that Sarah Palin was winking at me and I found it charming. Obviously she digs me.
I chuckled when she gave a shout-out to her brothers' third grade class, ensuring they would get extra credit for watching the debate. My wife groaned. In the end, I found Sarah Palin to be absolutely, delightful and adorable. The next morning my wife railed against her debate performance. "As a woman, I don't want anyone to ever think I'm incapable of critical thought and that I'm relying strictly on my looks and charm to get by. So when Palin does that, it bugs the hell out of me and I think, it sets women back. The fact that she refused to answer the questions and tried to rely on her folksy charm is infuriating to me." "Uh-huh… Yeah…", I said, stroking my chin. I was trying my best to appear thoughtfully, engaged even though I wasn't really listening. I was too busy remembering how enchanting, Governor Palin had been during the debate.
"I like her!" I said finally, "I mean Joe Biden was fine, he answered the questions with specific details and he was knowledgeable, if you like that sort of thing. But clearly Governor Palin was better. She was folksy™! You want to know what I think your real problem is? I think you don't like her just because she's a woman. You're a misogynist!" Trish narrowed her eyes at me and said something I couldn't quite hear, between her clenched teeth.
I don't remember too much after that. I just remember my feet being swept out from under me, my head hitting something cold and hard and then everything suddenly going black.
I keep forgetting she's a f*cking ninja.