The Weather

The weather this summer in Chicago has been a little inconsistent lately. I don't mind. I try not to have too many expectations when it comes to the weather. To be honest, I prefer the temperature on the cool side. It's always easier to get warmer, just put on more clothes. It's harder to cool off. You can only take off so many clothes. Once you're naked, then what do you do?

Nothing. You're just hot and naked.

So when people complain that it's cooler than they want it to be, I always say, "Be careful what you wish for."

When I was in college I had a 1988 Honda CRV hatchback. It was a stick. It didn't have a radio or air conditioning.

It did have heat though. In fact, it had hecka heat.

It had a feature my brother Andre and I called "Dry-all-the-snot-in-your-head" heat.

One day Andre, Audwin The Black Belt, Mitch and I were on our way back to Chicago from Champaign. I don't remember the time of year, I just remember it was cold outside. We hadn't been in the car 2 minutes when Audwin The Black Belt and Mitch started complaining, "Man, it's cold! can a brother get some heat back here?!!" "Yeah!!!", chimed Mitch. "You and Dre are sitting up there all toasty while me and Audwin are back here freezing!!!"

My brother and I just looked at each other and said, "OK… Be careful what you wish for."

And with that I cranked the heat up.

Five minutes later we heard their crackled pleas from the back seat.

Mitch: "Gak! Guh! Ack! Oh God! PLEASE CAN YOU TURN THE HEAT DOWN!!!

Audwin: All the snot in my head has dried, fusing it instantaneously!

Mitch: OH LORD! What manner of sorcery be this?!!"

Andre: Noooooo! You wanted heat? You got it! Before you were mad cuz you were cold, now you're mad cuz you got dry snot. Deal with it and breathe through your mouths punks!

So the moral to this story is of course, be careful what you wish for. You could be naked and have a head full of dried snot.

Be happy. Put on a jacket.

 

This Week in Blackness

Marriage and Uncle Robert

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