The Plan (Part 1 of 4)
“You’re going to need a plan.”, said Audwin the Black Belt. “A plan?”, I asked, both incredulous and annoyed. “Yes. A Plan. “Ughhhhh! Blarf!”, I complained, “I hate planning.” “Yes, I know”, he said, “But there’s no way around it man.” “Isn’t there some kind of pill I could take or a button I could press instead?” “No.”, he said, “Not only that, you’re going to need patience and you’re going to need diligence. You’re going to have to keep at it, even when you don’t want to.” “Fahrvfegnuggen!”, I said, and with that I fainted dead to the ground. Audwin glanced at his watch and folded his arms. “Are you sure all of this is absolutely necessary?”, I asked from my dead faint. “Look man, I've been running a business for a while now and you’re the one who asked me how to make a living from your blog so...” “Wrong! I asked you how I could make a cool mill’ from my blog.” “Well for arguments sake, let’s just say they are the same thing.”
"Clearly they are not." I mumbled from my dead faint.
“Let me put it to you like this; you're a big fan of Steve Jobs, right?” “Yes”, I said pronely. “Well do you think he built Apple up to where it is by pressing a button?” “As a matter of fact he did.”, I said sitting up on my elbows. “In 1976 Steve Jobs used the 'Build Macintosh' app on his iPad, generating the first Macintosh computer. Years later, he used the Macintosh to make the iPad. Fact!”
“Saying, 'fact' after a bunch of nonsense does not make it a 'fact'. It's still nonsense. Anyway, how would he have gotten the iPad in the first place?”
“Time machine.”, I said. “Well unfortunately for you, you’re going to have to do it the old fashioned way.” “See!”, I complained, “That’s the problem with this country! Not enough ways for instant gratification.” “Is that really the problem with this country?”, he asked arching an eyebrow.
“Are you done now?”
“Ok, then let’s take out a pencil and paper and get to work on your plan.”
“Grakking slobberwarts!!!”, I yelled before fainting dead away again.